1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
gallusrostromegalus
carsen-daily: “theshitpostcalligrapher: “sixyearsofcollegedownthedrain: “airspaniel: “ drunkwario: “ Anon hate from the late 1800’s. ” What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the...
drunkwario

Anon hate from the late 1800’s.

airspaniel

What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the days/weeks it would take for the mail to go through. No, they had to say “FUCK YOU” as soon as fucking possible and, AND, let the recipient that they were not done with the fuck you, nay, this was merely the first volley in what would undoubtably be a dressing down of Biblical proportions.

sixyearsofcollegedownthedrain

i will gleefully reblog this every time i see it

theshitpostcalligrapher

oh hey its the post i based this off of

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carsen-daily

#Like I KNOW the orig post is fake but I needed to keep the energy (via @theshitpostcalligrapher)

gallusrostromegalus
teaboot

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

feral-bookwoom

On it boss!!

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teaboot

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

tulpafcker
mornington-the-crescent: “solarpunkcast: “ eeveelutionsforequality: “ rtrixie: “ rtrixie: “ rickjameskinkshame: “ rtrixie: “Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal. ” App...
rtrixie

Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal.

rickjameskinkshame

App powered car? 🤦‍♀️

rtrixie

I wish people remembered the age old wisdom that if something doesn’t absolutely require an Internet connection to function, it shouldn’t be connected to the internet - same goes for apps.

rtrixie

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WHY IS A CATFOOD DISPENSER CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET

eeveelutionsforequality

Sometimes I’m glad that I’m too poor for my “cool future stuff” monkey brain to be set loose to buy stupid shit like this.

solarpunkcast

please please please do not buy into the Internet of Things. Digital displays for appliances are one thing, but you shouldn’t need the fucking internet to do your laundry or use the fridge.

mornington-the-crescent

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